TGIF

Cheers to Friday! Since I’ve been on BC I have been so out of it. Not my self at all. I have no motivation for anything. Some things that I have notice is that I don’t want to cook, what is weird for me because that is something I love to do. I love having my friends over and cooking dinner for them. I love to make new things and have my husband and daughter tell me how good it is.
Another is I don’t ever want to get ready for the day. I want to be lazy. There has been a few times I went into work with no make up or just eyeliner and mascara. I have been that person that has to always have make up on for any occasion.
I don’t want to clean, or anything to do with house hold chores. I just want to be lazy. I told J we need to hire a maid!
I try to get my self to clean once a week after things feel like it is getting overwhelming. As of right now, I have lots of papers on my kitchen table, dishes that need to go in the dishwasher and laundry that has to be washed and folded. Sigh, cleaning fairy , where are you??
On the bright side I have been walking Hailey to get Bri from school everyday. It’s nice because I get the exercise I need and Hailey gets walked. Plus all the school kids just adore her. They all know her by name.

Tomorrow I start taking baby aspen daily. On top of Birth control and prenatal’s. I hate taking pills so this is not fun for me. I know it needs to be done though so I can prepare my self to have a baby. I should be getting the rest of my medications on Wednesday then I start taking other pills next week. Then the injections come into play! I am really nervous about all of this. When the pharmacy called me, she was naming off everything that they were sending. There must of been a hundred different things. I really hope I can get through this next month with no complications. I am praying this is the end of our journey and we can have a successful pregnancy.

We have a Schedule!

J and I went to the doctors yesterday to go over everything with her RN. We were able to get a time line of everything. I am going to be on Birth Control alot longer than I anticipated. 

 On the 30th I start taking Baby Aspirin every day till the 28th. This will help implantation.

4th J and I go in for our Shot Class. This is to teach us how to give me shots

6th-10th both of us take ZPak

10th is my last day for BC. YAY, now all the fun starts. The same day the RN will call me to go over shots. What ones to take when. She will walk me through it daily. 

12th I go in for a blood draw and a baseline ultrasound. The blood draw and the ultrasound is to make sure my body is handling the hormones the way they should be.

13th-22nd Follistim  & Menopur. I obviously will know more about all of these things when the time comes.

15th I go in for another blood draw

17th is my last day to exercise. Like I do much of it anyway 

18th I have another blood draw and ultrasound. 

19th-22nd I start  to taking Ganirelix. The 19th is also the last day for Intercourse

20th Ultrasound

21st Another ultrasound

22nd Hopefully the last Ultrasound! 

23rd J takes Cipro

24th Common Egg Retrieval Day!

28th Common day for Embryo Transfer

29th & 30th are my princess day’s where I get to be on bed rest.

It doesn’t seam so bad! I am really anxious to be doing this. I am ready for this struggle of infertility to stop. I am praying that we get a successful pregnancy our of this and a child we get to take home. Dr G thinks we will have a very high chance of getting pregnant with just one round since we are only dealing with male factor infertility. J and I did decided that if we do have left over  embryo’s that we will freeze them for the future. Up to 4 embryo’s it is $500 a year. 5 and up are $750. We are willing to pay that. The cost of FET is alot less as well. 

Our running balance of IVF with ICSI is $10,533. That is not including the medications from the special pharmacy. Our insurance should be covering this amount since we have a $20,000 fertility treatment plan. Our DR’s office went ahead and billed them. They are thinking that they will also cover the medication. They should be calling me next week to set everything up and will let me know what we need to pay out of pocket. J and I both agreed that we will put this on the credit card. 

Next week will hit our 2 year mark for TTC. It has been such a long emotional journey. I have felt so much heart ache from this. I am thankful that we have this opportunity. I am praying that this works and will be the end of our journey.

Day Four

I am on day 4 of birth control. I have been extremely nausea’s because of it. Reading up on it, it is a common side effect. I have this cool app on my phone that tracks my menstrual cycle and also reminds me daily to take my pill. I just want the feeling nausea’s to go away. Then again, It is something when pregnant I will be feeling. I better suck it up and get used to it. I am anxious to get these three weeks to go by. The only thing I am not looking forward to is sticking my self with needles! The thought of it makes me cringe. If anyone has any advice on how to handle it, please let me know! I am new to this field. 

I talked to my boss this morning to let him know what is going on. I told him that I will let him know when I get more of a ball park estimate on the times I need off after transferring. Right now it is up in the air. Hopefully by Friday I can tell him what to expect. He is a good boss and knows what J and I have been struggling with. It would suck to have some one else as a boss lol. It is weird to think that in 9 months, I maybe leaving this place.

I am really excited to be on the road to starting IVF. J and I have been extremely excited. Saturday morning we laid in bed talking about names for our children. Since we are transferring two embryo’s, we need to think of two boy names and two girl names. I guess we will see what happens when the time comes. I feel confident about both of them implanting and being able to have a full term pregnancy. 

 

And Here We Go!

Today I met with our doctor. J had a lot of work to do before we head out of town so I had to go all by my self. I was an emotion wreck because of it. I really wanted the support. By the time I got off work, I was over my crying spell. I cried earlier at work while texting my bestie about all of my emotions. She is someone I can always count on to make me feel better. That is why she is my best friend. We have been through hell and back and yet we are still close. I love her for that. She is an amazing woman.

I got to the Dr’s office and sat down with her to go over what to do next. Since IUI did not work, She does not want us to do it again. We have a 5% chance of it working because of J’s count. She mentioned that she thinks it will be a waste of time and money. She suggested we just go into IVF. That is fine by me because that is what we were going to do. We gave IUI a try. Since I am on day 3 of my cycle, she wants me to start BC on day 5 and take it for three weeks. I go back into their office on thursday to get my instructions on what to do from there and get my meds all ordered to get me ready for IVF. The Dr thinks that one round of IVF will do the trick. I had a lot of different questions for her. Like, how many eggs do you think you will retrieve?, How many do you think we will be able to freeze? How much does FET cost? Meds? You know, all the basic stuff you want to know. The best part is, I will be Pregnant until proven otherwise comes next month ❤

If any one has any words of advice, I would love to hear it.

Wish me luck!

 

First Round of IUI

I think everyone who had done IUI had dreaded the two week wait. I had cramps every single day. They would be mild, but they were there. Reading online about symptoms were no help to me. I had every thought you could think of go through my head. Some were positive, some where negative. All I wanted was success. The percentage of it working were lower than usual. Sunday I ended up taking a home pregnancy test and got a big fat negative. I didn’t want to get a call the next day after my blood test saying it was a no and then have my day ruined. I wanted to be prepared.

Thursday was a bitter sweet day for my. My best friend was getting induced and asked me to be there with her. She didn’t want to be alone, even though her husband was there. I told her I would come by after I got off work. She gets very bad anxiety so I stayed with her. She asked me to say when she was about to deliver. It was an amazing experience. I am beyond thankful she had me with her holding her hand. I have so much gratitude for her for what she went through. She gave birth to a beautiful little girl. That evening I had that emotion switch turn on. I just wanted to cry, and I did! I cried a lot. I want to experience that so badly. I want to be able to tell my husband that I am pregnant, have him go to the doctors appointments with me, have him there for every moment of my pregnancy, but most of all, have him there next to my side to witness the birth of his child. That is my dream. It is not fair that we have to be faced with this trail.

Saturday I cried my self to sleep because of all the pain I have been feeling. Since Sunday was the first Sunday of the month, our church ask us to fast. I prayed that morning to help for guidance in this journey, to have peace and faith knowing that our time will come. I was able to fast to get answers that I am searching for. All though I didn’t get them then and there, and I still feel down in the dumps, I know that I need to be patient and it will be on the lords time.

Yesterday I went into the doctors office for the blood pregnancy test. They told me that I would get a call later in the afternoon with the results. There was still a part of me that wanted it to work. A little after a hour of being I work I stated my period (Sorry TMI). I was a few days early. What fun! Not! It does explain why I am emotion wreck. I waited the day out and went to lunch with one of my friends. I needed to just forget about things. Towards the end of our meal I got a call from the doctors. I already knew the answer. She was sweet about it. She asked me to come in on Wednesday to talk to our doctor about our next steps along with doing ANOTHER baseline ultra sound.  I am thankful that we are going places with treatments, I just want it to be successful and don’t deal with it anymore. I have this thought in the back of my head that we will do IUI again next week and it will fail. Then we will talk about starting treatments for IVF. I honestly want it to be successful. I would be so happy if IUI worked, I just don’t think it will 😥 I am sure I am not the only person who thinks like this. The depression I get from this is the worst and I just want it to end. I want to be happy again and not worry about having breakdowns because I found out some one was pregnant, or starting my period. Infertility is not fair at all and I don’t see what there is to gain from it.