I’m Back!

I took a long break from writing. Mostly because having a small babe in the house takes up all of your time. Our little miracle is almost 16 months. It is crazy how fast time goes by. We have been loving every moment of it. I work from home still. It has been getting harder and harder because she has been taking more and more of my time. I try to get as much work in on the phones when she is napping, or when J can help out a little.
My days consist of waking up around 6:30/7 daily, seeing Bri off to school, getting  Pey up, dressed and fed, play time, nap time, lunch time, play time, dinner time, play time, bed time. I love being a mom to two beautiful daughters. I love it so much, J and I have decided to start our journey again with IVF to try to grow our family.

I started BC (birth control) last week and will be starting injections around the 26th of January. I go on on Friday for a baseline ultrasound, and J will have another semen analysis. I am hoping for all good news.
The first week of January we will go in to meet with the financial adviser to go over what insurance coverage we have this time around and what we will need to pay out of pocket. Since it will be the beginning of the year, and our deductible would not be reached, there will be a small about to be paid. Thankfully it will be a discounted price to do IVF. We are very blessed for that.

Since we are ready to start IVF again, I was thinking things would be easy, well for the emotional part. I was wrong though. It could be the birth control hormones trolling me, but I feel like everyone over the past week has been announcing that they are expecting. It is hard. There is still that heart ache. The part that you can’t conceive on your own like most couples. That you have to go through fertility treatments to try to get pregnant. I am really thankful that we have the option to do IVF. I am praying that this time works and we won’t have to do multiple cycles.
I am just not wanting more heartache.
J has been taking Q10 and FertilAid again. He has been taking them for a few weeks now and I have been taking an all natural prenatal vitamin. I hate taking pills, so the less I have to take, the better!

I am going to try to keep writing to keep you all updated. I have been keeping my instagram updated. At least I am good with that! I just have my hands full, in a good way 🙂

 

Until next time!

 

Happy Birthday

Monday I decided that I needed to go grocery shopping done to make a bunch of freezer meals to preparer for when the baby comes. J and I spent around $25o to preparer 14 meals and then some. I was able to get some small things together and planned on making the bigger stuff the next day. Well that night I lost my mucous plug and my first thoughts were excitement. I told J and he just thought it was gross. On my side it meant labor was getting closer.

Tuesday Morning I woke up with sharp contractions. They were to the point I wanted to curl up on all fours. I ended up timing them around 4am. They were ten to eleven minutes apart lasting no more than a minute each. There was a part of me that wanted them to be Labor contractions, but they felt like Braxton Hicks. I timed each one I had with the app I had on my phone. Within a hour in a half, they got closer together. At eight minutes I woke up J and told him I was getting really strong contractions. He stayed awake with me asking me questions. I could hardly answer him though with the pain I was getting from each contraction. When I wasn’t having one, I would look online on when to go to the hospital. I read that you have to be at 4 cm dilated for them admit you and labor contractions should be 5 minutes apart and around 30-60 seconds each. I swear I read that over and over again every day when I started to get contractions, but each time I needed to remind myself for the “It Is Time” moment.
At 6am, J and I decided that we need to get dressed, wake up Bri and head to the hospital.
Could I just tell you how excited she was when I told her it was time. It was like it was Christmas Morning for her and Santa just came.
We got to the hospital around 7am. I was in so much pain at this time. Getting out of the car was a chore, walking into the hospital was a chore, going into the elevator was a chore, well you got the point. They had me go into a room to monitor me and to see how dilated I was. Last week at my checkup I was at a 4, when I got checked this time, I was still at a 4. What? Really? No progress? The nurse monitored my contractions along with our baby’s heartbeat. We quickly found that she did not like my contractions and her heart rate would drop with each one. She wanted to admit me right away and assured she would admit me no matter what because I was in active labor.

They got me all check in to Labor and Delivery where they hooked me back up to monitors again and got me prepped for an epidural.
My Mom came to the hospital to get Bri to keep her busy while I was in labor. It was nice she came when she did because they started to get me prepped for my epidural after they left.
The prepping for the Epidural was the fun part because I was in so much pain and they had to ask so many questions as well. I had three contractions while he was prepping me and it was hell because I had to sit and breath a certain way to not screw things up. I did ask him maybe a dozen times how long does it take for it to take effect. After the anesthesiologist left, my Dr’s partners come in to check my dilation as well with breaking my water to speed things up. When they broke my water, I was at a 6. Finally! Progression! Once it was all ready and the drugs were flowing, it felt like I was on cloud nine.  I was finally able to relax. The epidural was beyond relaxing. So relaxing I didn’t realize they broke my water or checked to see how dilated I become.
Since I was at a six I was able to relax and enjoy being drugged up till I waited to finish dilating. It was weird not being able to feel my feet or legs, but I did not care. I was glad I was able to take a nap. I was able to text my family and friends to let them know I was in labor too.
My nurse came back in after a few hours to check to see how I have been progressing. When she checked I was at 9+ cm and she said that she would come back in a half hour to see where I was. Once I was at a 10, she would have me start pushing. Little did I know I was in for a treat. She came back in a half hour later and sure enough I was fully dilated and one hundred percent effaced.
I swear I asked her the same questions over and over again to prepare myself mentally. How long will I push for? When will my Doctor come in? Whats the longest labour? What is the shortest? I just had a lot of questions. She told me I can be pushing from anywhere to 1-4 hours and that is considered normal. After she starts to crown is when she will call my Doctor and have him head over. Good thing his office is right next door to the hospital.
Off I went to pushing for TWO long hours. My contractions were anywhere from two minutes apart to five minutes apart, so pushing during the contractions was hard. Her heartbeat was keep on dropping with contractions here and there, but was not anything to worry about. Half way through they put me on oxygen to help and had me break every once in awhile to catch my breath. After two hours, she was almost under the pelvic bone. The nurse called my Doctor and he was over before you knew it. The nurse caught him up to date with how things were going. He checked her position and quickly learned she was sunny side up. He was able to turn her face down and hold her there. He told me if he was not able to do that, he would of had to do an emergency cesarean. No one wants to hear that after pushing for two hours. She was getting stuck on my pelvic bone and wasn’t able to slide out, but a few more contractions went by with a few big long pushes and a episiotomy and our little girl was born.

  
I cried and cried while I watched them clean her off and while J cut the umbilical cord. It was such a beautiful experience. It was scary knowing that her heart rate was dropping and then with her getting stuck from being face up. I was keep on praying that we get her here safely. That is all I wanted, and my prayers were answered. We have a beautiful daughter.
She has a bruise on her forehead and a crooked nose from being face up hitting my pelvic bone. Things that will go away. Her bruise is already lighted up and her nose is slowly moving into place.
I am beyond thankful that we have our IVF miracle.
Bri is in love with her. All she wants to do is hold her and sing to her. She is already such a great big sister.
I was able to fall in love with my husband all over again watching him bond with his daughter. She already has him wrapped around her fingers. He changed her first diaper and stayed up with her in between feedings so I could get some rest. He is a good daddy.

Recovery has been a lot harder than I would expect. During delivery, my doctor had to do the episiotomy what lead to loosing a lot of blood. My heart rate dropped along with my body temperature. I felt like I was going to throw up all the sudden. They had to put me on extra fluids to keep everything balanced. When they were ready to move me into my room, I felt like I was going to faint. Thankfully, the nurses took good care of me and by the next morning I was doing much better. My heart rate went back to normal, and so did my body temperature. I am really sore down there and have to tend to my stiches. There is no such thing as wiping anymore, I have to use warm water from a water bottle and squirt clean the area. Its is a long process to just have to go potty now.

We were able to get discharged from the hospital on my due date. I believe this would call for a celebration. Happy two day birthday!
She had a great first day back at home. It is not like being in the hospital and having someone waiting on me hand and foot, but at least I have J and Bri to help around the house and to help me with things that I need. We are truly thankful that we had a safe delivery and a healthy daughter. I feel in love all over again in many ways. I am blessed beyond words for this miracle. Going through two rounds of IVF and over 12 hours of labor was beyond worth it to finally hold our answer to our families prayer.

39 Weeks: The clock is running out

  Even though I am not technically 39 weeks till Thursday, I went in for my 39 week checkup today. Before I go into detail about my visit, I will let you know how my week went since it was so busy.
Friday went great. It was my cousin’s wedding and the day was filled with events. Thankfully everything went smoothly.
Saturday J and I celebrated 3 years of marriage. We allow ourselves to go out to a fancy dinner. This year was my year to pick, so off we went to The Melting Pot. It was such a great experience to have a romantic dinner with just the husband and I. They placed rose petals over our table with a candle to set the mood for our anniversary. I am sure lucky to have such an amazing husband to call mine.
Sunday I woke up with a bad headache. I pulled myself out of bed and got ready for Church since I had to teach one of the classes. Thankfully I made it through three hours of Church, went home, took some Tylenol with a Diet Coke, ate some lunch and climbed into bed. I told J to play on the XBox so I could nap. It was a win win for him. After a hour of sleeping I woke up with period like cramps. It was horrible. Like any other person, I went onto Google to search if these were labor contractions. I have had Braxton Hicks, but they do not feel like period cramps. I was a little worried. I have an app on my phone that times contractions. I opened it up and started to time them. Each one lasted 5-10 minutes and were at least 20 minutes apart. There was nothing to worry about. It did get me going though. I hurried up and started to pack my hospital bag. I can now say that it is 100% all put together sitting by the door now. I called one of my girlfriends and asked about these period like cramps and she said that they sound like labor contractions. I need to keep focused on them and when the real thing comes, I will know because I will not be able to move. Within a few hours, my inner thighs just throbbed in pain, almost like I just got done working out. I brushed it off and went on with my day and had dinner with my family.
Monday I felt much better. My boss was in town so I got to visit with him and go over what will happen while I am on Maternity leave. One of my best friends and her husband came over for dinner and then the guys escaped to play video games while we hung out. We are both pregnant and only a few days apart. All we wanted to do was relax. My sister in law also ended up coming over to show off her wedding dress she picked up. It was nice just being girls and talking. Something us girls need often. The night came to an end. Around 2am I woke up with sharp pains. I remembered my friend telling me that real contractions will hurt. My first thought: Oh my gosh, is this the real thing? Yeah, No. They went away. Seriously?
Today also know as Tuesday I met with my doctor. Good news! I am dilated to a 4 and he thinks that I will be going into labor before the weekend. I guess that means my dreams of a September baby is gone. All that matters is that she comes to us healthy. I talked to him about all the aches and pains and he said that it is normal to feel all of those. They are definitely contractions. I asked if they were Braxton Hicks and he said no. My body is getting ready for labor. We also talked about the “what if she is late?” Since Bri was a C Section, he will not induce me. If I do go over and I am late, he will do another C Section. Know we just wait for her to come and he is sure it will be this week. Sigh, I have so much to in the office still for work. I guess that just means I am a workaholic. I will forsure make sure I have everything done tomorrow since this little girl can come when ever she wants now.
When I got home from the Doctors office, I noticed that I had this reddish pink discharge. I ended up calling the doctors office and talked to the nurse about it. She told me it is normal and to take things easy. Reading online it says it can be the start of my mucous plug.
So every one…  Looks like this baby girl is coming soon!

36 weeks

Today I went in for my 36 week check up. I waited for an hour to be seen with a sheet draped over me. Let me just tell you how bored I was just sitting there looking out the window waiting.
My stomach is now measuring at 34 inches. I am now at 153 lbs! I still am growing day by day. I am actually really shocked I have not got a stretch mark on my stomach yet. I guess we will see in the next few weeks.
Our little girls heart beat was at 121. I was worried with that number since she has always been in the 130 range, but my Doctor assured me that it was a wonderful number. He explained to me that the closer I get to my due date, the bigger in size they get what causes their heart rate to go down slowly. As long as it is above 110, its a great heart beat.
We checked my iron levels again. I was not happy to hear that it only went up a half of a percent since my 34 week check up. I am asked to take two iron supplements a day now. On the bright side, they are going up slowly and have not dropped. They are looking for a significant increase though.
I am not dilated yet, what really surprises me since I feel so much pressure down there all the time and I get braxton hicks contractions almost daily.
My Dr also asked me if I am planning on doing a vaginal delivery. I told him yes because there was no reason to have a C Section unless she was breached or there was other complications. He explained to me that since I did have a previous C Section, there is a high risk with inducing labor and wants me to go into labor on my own. Thankfully I only have 4 weeks left. I am hoping I don’t go over my due date. I have my step mom and older sister who think I will go into labor early and then there is me who thinks I will be a few days past. I guess only time will tell with this one. I just hope everything goes smoothly.

This past weekend was really busy for me with my family in town for Bri’s baptism and my baby shower. It was great spending time with my Dad and having them stay with me and J. Every day we had something else going on. It kept me very busy, so busy all I wanted to do was relax when they left.
Bri’s baptism was beautiful. I am beyond proud of her decision to be baptized as a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. My Dad gave a talk on Baptism and my Sister in law gave a talk on the Holy Ghost. I could not be more proud of how the day went. I felt the spirit so strongly. Her Biological Father baptized her and J did the conformation.  We then had a big luncheon at our house for all the friends and family. 
My baby shower was great as well. We had a great turn out. I got a lot of adorable outfits from friends and family. One of my best friends made some wooden letters to hang on the wall that spell out our little one’s name.
The nursery is almost put together. We painted the walls, set up the crib, put the crib bedding all together in the crib, and now we just have to put together the hutch and decorate the room. I also need to pick up my old rocking chair from my little sister and paint it and find some cushions for it that match the bedding. I dont think it will be that hard since we have a mixture of colors in the room. Her bedding is teal and coral with a splash of different colors. It is quilted with different fabrics as well. I have an antique plastic frame that I painted coral that I am hanging above the crib with the letter P to go inside of it, They are both the same color, but the P will be glittery because every girl needs glitter in their life. I just painted the frame and the P today, so they are not quite ready to hang yet. I am getting more and more anxious to have the nursery all put together.

11DP5DT

It has been a busy week for everyone with Christmas and spending time with their families.

6DP5DT I decided to take a HPT, there was no second line. I wanted to lose hope. I told J that I took the test and it was negative. We started to talk about our THIRD fresh cycle. Since it would be a new year, out of pocket expenses would be there. J said no to credit card debt and we would just pay cash. That means putting off our goal of paying off our car. That night I had a dream that I took a HPT and it was positive. It was so vivid. I have never had a dream like that. That next morning (7DP5DT) I decided to take another test. I gave my self a little pep talk to not get discouraged if there was no second line. After sitting there knowing I had to get ready for work, I started to see things. Was a seeing things? No, sure enough there was a very faint second line. I was in shock! I could not believe it. I had to tell J. I found a nice bracelet box and put the test in there. I handed him the box and said “sweetie, I have a early christmas gift for you” He opened it and I said “Do you see it? Do you see that second line? We are pregnant” J just grinned and kissed me. He is a sucker for little emotions.
8DP5DT I took another test, a different brand, sure enough it was positive again. This was Christmas eve I might add. I have been feeling wheezy and have been getting small head aches. We went over to my grandmas house for dinner with my family. My grandma was keep on making comments to me “Maybe you’re pregnant” over and over and it was eating at me. J and I decided that we will tell them. I called out that I needed everyones attention. I told them all that I have been taking HPT and they have been showing up positive. We will not know for sure though till Friday. Everyone was so excited.
That evening we got home and we asked J’s parents to come down to watch Bri open a christmas eve gift. While talking to my mother in las, she asked if I still feel good about this cycle, I told her that I did. She then asked if I have been cheating.
one thing that I can not do is lie. I am the worst liar. I got up and started to walk away. She chased me down screaming “AMBER YOU GET BACK OVER HERE!” it was pretty funny. I grabbed the box with the test in it and told her that I had a gift for them to open first. Her and my father in law opened it up. My mother in laws jaw dropped, speechless. You can tell that she was extremely excited. She told me she knew it was going to happen. She just had this gut feeling it was going to work and she knew I was going to be pregnant. By the way, she thinks it will be a girl.
J and I still had to tell his sister. I told her when she and her boy friend got home, that they needed to down stairs because we had a christmas eve present for her. I wrapped up the box all pretty for her in a gift bag. My mother in law played it off that I got her a bracelet before she opened the present. Jer opened the box and she was just staring at the test. You can tell she was confused, Then she said “Is this real?” I said “Yes” She responded “You’re Pregnant?” my response “yes” and then there was a lot of screaming and hugging. What an amazing night. We called my dad Christmas morning and told him and my step mom what followed by more screaming 😀 I am very thankful for this christmas miracle. It is truly the best gift I could ask for.

Friday morning I went in for my blood test. They check you levels at 10DP5DT. Since it was a half day in their office, they said that they would call me soon with the results. I already had a feeling I was getting the call that says “you’re pregnant”, but I was scared of what my hCG levels were going to be at. Anything over 5 is considered pregnant. The thing is, the lower the number, the higher chance of a miscarriage, ectopic or chemical pregnancy. I was praying for a high number. With research, anything over 50 is good. I was out shopping with my sister in law when i got the call. The store was so crowded (after christmas sells) The RN was on the other line. She said :amber, are you ready for the news?” I told her yes and that I have been cheating. She said “well, you’re pregnant” Ahhhhhhhhhh I am so happy!!!!! My levels were at 109 what is a really really good number. She even talked to my DR and said if I needed to, I can have 1 Diet Coke a day. I have been holding off though.

I am extremely grateful for my family and friends who have given J and I unconditional support through this journey. We have came a long way. This is the biggest Christmas Miracle. We are so blessed. I have so much gratitude to our father in heaven. This baby is one special baby. I just pray for a healthy pregnancy and a healthy baby.

I have been very tired all the time still. I have noticed, when ever I eat, I just want to nap afterwords. I swear I eat more than J right now. I feel very bloated and my jeans are not wanting to fit because of it. Thankfully I have leggings that will help me out.
I decided to take a look at a IVF Calculator for a due date. Looks like I am 4 weeks and 2 days right now. If we are having twins, my due date will be around August 12th. If it is a singleton, September 3rd. I am anxiously waiting for the day we get to bring this little bean into our world.

PUPO!

We are officially Pregnant Until Proven Otherwise!

Yesterday we went into the Dr’s office at 12:30 for transfer. They have you come in a half hour prior to your appointment to take a valium. J and I sat and we waited. I was already feeling pretty loopy from the valium before they called me back. I am surprised that I was pretty calm and excited when we were waiting. The nurse called us back to get me ready for transfer. The only nervous part was waiting to here how the embryo’s were doing. I was keeping strong though. After a few minutes our Dr came in with the report. Sadly out of our five, only two made it. One of them was a perfect blastocyst though, what is really good news.  We went ahead and transferred them both. As of right now, I am pregnant with twins again until proven other wise. We go in on the 26th for our blood test.

On our way home, J and I picked up some lunch since we were starving. I wanted to pick up a pineapple on our way home, but neither of us wanted to go to the store. Since I am now officially on bed rest till tomorrow, it was not the best idea for me to run into the store. I asked my sister in law to pick on up for me instead on her way home from work. I was determined to have a pineapple. I have heard wonders about the pineapple core trick. What is the worst thing that could happen? Nothing! I had J cut the pineapple up for me and place the core in a blender with some other fruits and make a smoothie out of it for me. My dear sister in law also picked up some flowers for me and a box of chocolates on behalf of her and J’s parents. I am extremely thankful for them. What girl doesn’t love chocolates, flowers, oh and a pineapple!

One of our friends from church brought our family dinner. I am thankful we are well taken care of by family and friends. Dinner was delicious and is what we needed.

Today is now 1dp5dt (one day past five day transfer). I have been glued to the couch watching Scandal on Netflix. It is getting so good. I have probably dozed off two times to take little cat naps. J has been working from home still. He has been catering to my needs. I made spaghetti sauce last week so I had J boil some noodles for me. Lunch was just was a need to fill my belly. I have all my snacks I need next to me, and my water bottle.

One thing I have noticed is that I have been extremely constipated to the point I get stomach pains. I have been drinking double the amount of water that I normally drink and I have been making sure I have a high fruit and fiber intake. I read online that this is common with all the medications.

For now I need to keep on resting. I am really excited that we had a perfect looking embryo. All we need is that one. I have high hopes right now. Nothing will get me discourage. There is no way I am peeing on a stick either! Even though I think it would be really fun to have a positive pregnancy test, put in in a bracelet box, and stick it in Jason’s stocking on Christmas day. I don’t want anything to ruin my holiday with my family. For now, it is happy thoughts and I am pregnant till some one tells me I am not.

We have four growing strong

This weekend has been pretty good to me. I was able to keep my self busy with retail therapy. Yesterday afternoon I went out with my sister in law to get some things for Christmas presents. She was pretty worn out after a hour our two so we grabbed a late lunch and head back home. For the past few days I have been taking things easy, I decided to find a new show to watch on Netflix. I started to watch Scandal. It has me pulled in pretty good. I truly love the addicting TV shows. When I got home from shopping, I was able to squeeze an episode before my best friend called me to let me know she was ready for our girls night. I am glad that we got to go out together. We both have been through so much and we both really needed to get out of the house. I met her at her house and off we went to do more shopping! On the bright side, I was able to finish all of my shopping! That is a big stress reliever right there. I have all of the stocking stuffers and all of the last minute gifts. Now I just need to wrap up the rest of things. When Holl’s and I were at Kohls, we noticed they had a bunch of Juicy Couture purses, clutches, and wallets. (one thing about me, I love ANYTHING Juicy Couture, ANYTHING! My glasses are even Juicy Couture)
Holl and I both came across these black wallet clutches that were on sale. I feel in love with them. We both splurged and got the same one. I will be handing it over to Santa to put under the Christmas Tree though. I seriously can not wait to use it.

J has still been under the weather from his surgery and Bri is gone for the weekend. It has been a very “me” weekend. This Sunday happened to be the week I had to teach. I decided to teach on making Christ the center of their homes. What a great lesson to teach around Christmas. I found these cute chocolate ginger bread houses and tied a quote on them for the girls. I am very thankful that I teach these young girls. Being able to prepare lessons and teach them helps me become a more better person.

Just before church got over my phone started to ring and I had to silence it. I knew it was the Fertility Center calling me to go over my embryo report that I have been waiting for. Thankfully she left me a VM to go over my transfer time and how the embryo’s are doing. I go in Tuesday afternoon for transfer like anticipated. We have four 8 cell embryo’s that are going strong and one 5 cell. I am not sure if the 5 cell is going to make it, but I am extremely thankful that we have the four. What a blessing to have. I am praying that they all make it to Tuesday to full blastocyst. I am trying to stay very optimistic about this.

Six Fertilized

I got the call from the lab yesterday afternoon. She went over all of the numbers with me.

21 Eggs Eetrieved

12 Matured Eggs

6 Fertilized with ICSI

I was stressed about J’s number so I asked; 12million per ml & 25% motility

I was having a really hard time with these numbers because I felt like the last cycle that we did in September had a lot better numbers, I went through my blog post and wrote down the numbers to compare.

21 Retrieved

16 Mature

13 Fertilized

6 made it to day 3 (8cells)

2 made it to transfer.

I did have them tell me J’s count last time as well. I was under the impression that it was 11million per ml, but she told me over the phone that it was 13.6 million per ml and 28% motility.  So in all I feel like last cycle’s number’s we better all around. Why would this cycle be worse? I was having such a hard time.  I started to cry about it. I can just see this all failing and then we will not have anything to transfer. I started emailing one of my friends who has been going through the same thing. Secondary infertility, first ivf cylce failed, moved on to number two and is on her TWW. Her husband was taking Q10 as well for around 2 months. They transferred two perfect looking blastocyst. From what I remembered, she had a low amount of embryos as well. Talking to her made me feel a little bit better about things.

I have to teach a lesson at church tomorrow and I had a local print shop print off some handouts for me. I ran into one of my old coworkers daughter in law’s who told me who much she admires me for everything that I have been through. (She follows my journey on Instagram) She asked how I was doing and what the next steps are. It is truly nice to know that there are so many people out there rooting for J and I.

I moved Bri’s piano lesson’s to Friday and when I was there my mother in law sent me a text asking if I had heard from the lab. I wanted to break down all over again. I wrote down the numbers on a pice of paper while I was at work and took a picture of it so I can send it to family and friends. I sent it over to her and told her how scared I am about this cycle. We text back and forth about everything. She said “you know, all it takes is that one”  She was right. Why am I stressed so badly about only having six? Six is such a good number to have! even if they do not all make it, all we need is that one to turn into a perfect blastocyst. I have so much faith that is we transfer a perfect blastocyst, then we will have a positive cycle.

I will get my next report some time tomorrow to go over how the embryo’s are doing. It will truly be a blessing to hear that all six, maybe eight are at 8 cells. We will see. Till then I need to be patient, I need to have faith, and I need to trust the Lord.

Dėjà Vu! 21 Eggs retrieved

Egg retrieval went great this morning I was getting really bad anxiety when I checked in. J had to leave right after his semen collection to head to his reconstruction surgery on his nose. I asked my Aunt to pick me up, but she called me last minute saying she was unable to. I then called my grandma (who lives ten minutes away from my Dr’s Office) to come get me. I was scared that I was going to come out of anesthesia and no one will be there. I was nervous for J for his surgery. I would not be there with him. It was extremely scary for me. All of my thoughts were eating me alive. J gave me a kissed goodbye. Shortly after the anesthesiologist came and got me. He got my IV’s all ready and gave me some valium to relax. Oh, I felt better after he gave me the good stuff. I remember talking to the nurse about me drinking a Diet Coke after retrieval. Dr. G came and then I took the best nap ever. I woke up to Christmas music and was on cloud nine. I don’t think I was as loopy this time coming out than I was last time. I knew I had to wake my self up because I had to remember all of the numbers. They walked me into the recovery room while I waiting for my Grandma to come in and sit with me. Dr.G came in and said I did great. My numbers were the same as last time, 21! what a great number. I am very shocked that I produced the same amount. I talked to her about Q10 and FertilAid along with egg quality. She is pretty sure that this will do the trick. I even asked her if we can transfer 2 again, what we will. I am extremely thankful to be blessed with such a great doctor. Their staff is even amazing. The will call me in the morning with the report on how many eggs were mature, and how many were fertilized. I am anxious to hear the numbers! Since we are doing ICSI again, we will have a high number once more. Last time we had 13. I am praying that this cycle is it and we can end 2014 with a dream coming true.

My sweet Grandma picked up some lunch for us nearby and took me home. It was nice being able to spend some time with her. I truly have the best grandma out there.

Later my best friend came by to check up on me and brought me a Salted Caramel Hot Chocolate from Starbucks. It was pretty delightful. I am glad I was well taken care of.

I was also able to spend time with my sister in law most of the day. We just laid on the couch watching Netflix till J got home with his parents.

My poor hubby looked so out of it. His nose all taped up with bloody gauze. Even though I have been in pain, my husband has had it worse. I was all about making sure he was ok and taken care of. His mom and dad told me that they had him in recovery for over 2 hours because he had high blood pressure. They needed to make sure that he was stable before they let him go.

What a day, Egg retrieval and then J’s reconstructive surgery! I am extremely thankful that we both made it through the day. J’s day seam to be a lot more hectic than mine. I am glad he is home resting.
As for me, I have some cramps. Nothing like it was last time. I have been keeping hydrated as much as I can. The heating pad is once more my best friend and I also have some essential oils to help as well.

On the Tenth day of injections my true love gave to me..

Since it is Christmas time, I figured I would add some Holiday cheer to my blog. Today is the 10th day of my injections. I woke up to a big bruise on the right side of my stomach. Just as I was starting to think I have not bruised up that much compared to last time. I also remember my stomach stomach sticking out a lot more too. Well last night I noticed that I look like I was pregnant with a burrito. It has yet moved either! This morning my stomach was still poking out! I had to find one of my baggy shirts to wear with some leggings so I could be comfortable and look normal.
Lately I have been getting irritated with anything and everything. I just want to be left alone with no one talking or trying to touch me. Is that no much to ask? I get so irritated when J or Bri comes up and ask me something. My response: “I don’t know, figure it out on your own”  or “I don’t care, just do what ever”. I know, I am way cranky! Hello hormones taking over my soul.

This morning I went in to my day ten appointment to see where things were at. I have scheduled all of my appointments right after I drop Bri off at school so I can make it to work on time. Well today that did not happen. I got there 10 minutes early to be seen 40 minutes later. Usually an ultrasound and blood work take 15 minutes tops. I was out the door 5 minutes passed 9 and was late to work. Not my day. One top of that, I was late yesterday for an appointment that I spaced that was scheduled at 9:15

On the bright side, I have over 3 follicles over 18mm. The biggest one is at 22mm. I look pregnant, pregnant with follicles that is lol. My last blood work to look over my estrogen levels were around 24000. They go up 10% a day I believe. They need to be around 3500-4000 to trigger tonight. The nurse thinks everything should be spot on. I will get a call tonight with all the information I need. I am seriously looking forward to be able to get this done and over with.

Infertility is hard enough, going through two IVF cycles is just has bad. Some times I just don’t get why I have to do all of this to try to have a baby with J. Two in a half years of countless nights crying, praying to god asking “why”, depression, anger, envy, you name it, I have gone through it. I am ready to end this battle. I have learned to be happy with what I have around me. I am grateful for everything that has been placed into my life. I just pray that this cycle can start a new journey.